Photo by Ulan Shafigy on Unsplash

by Steve Matthews, Senior Missional Consultant

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold…” – Proverbs 25:11

I’ve always liked this proverb… maybe because I like apples (the county where I live is the home of the North Carolina Apple Festival, after all). Apples taste great, and they are beautiful. So, as I unpack this Proverb, I think less about “gold” as something that is a valuable mineral and more of “apple” as a perfect and beautiful resource that both delights and nourishes. Either way, the proverb works, and I am reminded to choose my words and actions with intention and wisdom and compassion.

A wise use of speech and wise action seems about as rare as gold bullion and perfect apples these days. I often hear hateful things being said in conversation with strangers and even friends, and the news feels littered with untruths, accusations, and manipulative speech patterns and actions. Wisdom feels elusive.

I am a “feeler,” so when I hear too much negativity and hostility it impacts me and gets lodged in my body and spirit. I once had a coach who encouraged me to let these hurtful encounters move “through me” and not “to me.” This is easier said than done, and yet it is a valuable practice to remember that most of the hostility in the world is not personal. In other words, most negative experiences I encounter say more about the person dishing out the muck and their unresolved issues (fear, anxiety, jealously, abuse, addictions) than they do about me.

This is not to say that I don’t trigger people negatively sometimes (hopefully mostly unintentionally), nor does it lessen the negative impact another person/ leader/ institution may have on my sense of peace and well-being. We are hurt by the actions of others, and even if it is not personal, it does impact us.

So, what to do?

What does this have to do with the ministry and resources offered by FaithX?

Perhaps the path toward civility and shalom is both personal and institutional. Personally, I can develop practices and habits that encourage “right speech” and “wise action.” Some of these practices might include prayer and meditation, spiritual direction, hanging out with positive people, eating and sleeping well, therapy, and exercise. When I practice self-care and when I am being intentional about letting negativity flow through me, I am more likely to show up ready to offer apples of gold.

On the institutional level, there is an opportunity to nurture deeper and more generative relationships with neighbors and partner organizations. Rather than only being reactive to what we see happening in the world in terms of ministry and outreach, we can choose to invest more energy in intentionally nurturing connective tissue in our neighborhoods and communities, and this is most likely to bear fruit when we act in partnership with others.

Our demographic resources (MissionMaps) are a valuable resource for a discerning community. These maps can provide clearer pictures of what is happening in your community, and they can help you spot trends. As people explore these maps thoughtfully together, they almost always gain perspective about the needs and resources right in their backyards.

In these tense times, isn’t it wise to choose proactive rather than reactive action when possible? How might FaithX’s resources and your networks work together to nurture a bountiful harvest of golden apples that feed you and your community? It feels important to have a vision for what is possible and to continue to work toward that, rather than allowing our valuable gifts and energy to be siphoned off in only reactionary ways.

But for today, perhaps we can practice de-personalizing the things that come at us, not in any way to diminish the impact of harmful words and actions, but because we need to use our energy and gifts to nurture a brighter future.

Happy apple picking!