Photo by Eyoel Kahssay on Unsplash

by Steve Matthews
FaithX Missional Consultant

My early experience of church was not positive. It was not a place of comfort or grace.  There was a fair amount of “hell-fire and brimstone” preaching and Christianity was more a list of what not to do rather than a place of grace or hope.  The theology was very focused on “me and my Jesus” rather than any real sense of community.  The unsung rule was to look out for your family and your church family. There was not much sense of social justice or community obligation.  The Kingdom of God was the place where there was joy and peace, and this would only be realized when we died and were in heaven with the righteous.

I am grateful that my sense of resurrection is broader now.  This month our blogs are focusing on new life.  These are not soft and fuzzy sentimental concepts for me anymore.  Over the past eight years, I watched my parents drift and die slowly. Their process of living while dying challenged my sense of God’s grace and providence.  It was an arduous journey for my family without overt life-giving outcomes, and all we could do was keep showing up… again… and again.

Notice I say “we” kept showing up.  I was not alone.  My partner, my sister, my nieces, other friends and family members, caregivers… and my mom and dad too were all participating in the process of living and letting go and dying.  It was a communal process.  It was love that kept us showing up, accompanying, trouble shooting, and trying our best to celebrate life along the way even amid all the struggles.  It was love that compelled us into the reality of the life that was on any given day (even when it was dismal), and it was love that helped us midwife my parents into the life that was to come – life, death, and resurrection co-mingling all along the way.  It was seldom pretty or hopeful.

The theology of my childhood wasn’t life-giving, but looking back, I’m grateful — the gaps left by the preaching and teaching created a thirst in my spirit for something more, and that thirst led me toward a deeper, more communal understanding of what it means to do kingdom/kindom work. Instead of new life being all about me and mine, what if together we saw ourselves as mid-wives accompanying our congregations, our communities… even ourselves into a new way of being… a new life possibility right here, right now?

Think about your neighborhood or church or community.  Rather than thinking about a grand gesture that impacts what is wrong and what needs to be fixed, what if we just showed up in any given moment to do our part in the reality of the moment – eyes wide open to what is with a heart ready to engage in partnership with others even if it’s messy and hard.  Maybe this is just a kind gesture, or friendly conversation.  Perhaps it means engaging difficult co-workers in an undefended, curious way. Maybe it looks like inviting a neighbor to join you in helping another neighbor with a house project.  Is there a difficult conversation needing to start to address some matter of personal or communal injustice?  What if the “sweet by and by” is just in the next moment even when it’s not sweet and precious and instead demands patience and perspective?

It’s been almost four months since my mom died, and my sense of new life is uneven at best.  I have many questions, and I lack a compelling vision for what’s next.  Fortunately, I know I am not alone even when I feel lonely.  Because I know I am accompanied, I keep moving even in the messy swirl of life and death and resurrection.  Sometimes I can’t tell which one I am experiencing.

Is this a path and practice that might be worthwhile for our faith communities?  There is so much anxiety and disconnection in our world, and there is a need for coordinated and strategic responses for the sake of justice, and maybe, just maybe, the best we can do on a day-to-day basis is just commit to show up for one another ready to engage the halting and uneven flow of life even if it doesn’t always feel life-giving.  Who knows how resurrection might reveal itself on this side of life.

For more information about how FaithX might accompany you into life-giving work in your congregation and community, contact us at info@faithx.net.