By Steve Matthews, FaithX Senior Missional Consultant

Ugh. Words like “vulnerability” and “risk” make me squeamish. I don’t like heights. I get nervous if I drive too fast or if my bike picks up too much speed on the downhill. I feel green if I over-share, and I’ve never enjoyed therapy. I tend to avoid conflict. (Am I over-sharing?). Even taking into consideration the realities of these resistances, I do indeed know the thrill of going fast, I benefit from therapy, and conflict is sometimes a natural path to something more and better. I may resist vulnerability, but I know the benefits of showing up “real” and sometimes trying on new and perhaps more vulnerable behaviors.

Jesuit theologian Walter Burghardt once described contemplation as taking a “long, loving look at the real.” In this article written in the late 1980’s, Burghart goes on to talk about the need to slow down in community and to really pay attention to the reality of life – the good, the bad, and the ugly with a spirit of compassion, not judgment.

As a consultant with faith communities (and as a member of one), I’ve also seen a fair amount of avoidance when it comes to beholding and embracing the realities of our communal existence. Looking in the mirror can be scary. Is our membership really that old? We took how much out of our endowment for operating expenses? We want to speak the truth, but “so and so” may get mad and leave the church because he sees things differently than the 90% of the rest of us. These are refrains that are probably not unfamiliar to many of us.

I am a member of First Congregational Church (FCC) in Hendersonville, NC. Part of our “real” is that we are one out of 100 active churches and places of worship in this county. Of this group, there are only a handful of “moderate” churches and less than five faith communities who might be considered “progressive”. FCC isn’t progressive because it wants that label. It is progressive because this faith community has a history of naming its reality, claiming it’s values, and having the courage to live into the intersection of reality and conscience with presence and action.

We sponsor a booth at Pride, support the immigrant community, partner with a local rural elementary school, provide space for community conversations, host a community mediation space, have solar panels for more responsible energy use, offer free parking for the local rails-to-trails users, etc.

Another part of our reality is that we are in a county with many retirees (the median age here is 52 compared to the national median age of 38). Instead of trying to build the area’s strongest youth program, FCC seeks to honor and call out the gifts of our senior members (most of our congregation). Most meetings happen during the daytime to support the core of our church’s leadership.

We are not part of the political or religious hegemony of Henderson County, and we have taken some hits from being unabashedly on the outside (from bad Google reviews to protestors outside our church building to having our LGBTQ+ flag stolen multiple times). So, you might think we are struggling. Sometimes we do struggle to stay joyful and focused, but because we value joy and connection and inclusion and because we have embraced our reality together with courage, we have grown. On average we have about 150 weekly worshippers on a Sunday morning, and in the last two years over 50 people have joined our church. I think people are drawn to authenticity and vulnerability.

Burghardt says, “A long, loving, look at the real. From such contemplation comes communion. I mean the discovery of the Holy in deep, thoughtful encounters-with God’s creation, with God’s people, with God’s self –where love is proven by sacrifice, the wild exchange of all for another, for the Other. Thus is fashioned what the second-century bishop Irenaeus called ‘God’s glory-man/woman alive!’”

Will you dare to risk a deeper knowing of yourself, of your church, of your community? How might you find a richer life in the process?

For more information about the demographics of your community, or to take a closer look at your faith community’s vitality and sustainability, contact us at info@faithx.net.